Socialisation...

I made some good observations last week of the boys as we got together with other children of varying ages in different social settings. (Will keep that phrase for our next review, maybe??!).

This week:

-We had a playdate with a friend where they played card games together, construction time with different sorts of lego, outside play. It was great to see, they made their own fun, kept their own rules, and showed good one-on-one socialisation skills. Actually they played as a threesome and no-one was left out, so that is even better.

-We had a mass gathering in the park - a new park to us, so I gave them my groundrules before we went- where they would be allowed to go, etc. They have only met this group of children once before (a fortnight ago) and there were probably 30 or so children of different ages. As it is a group of families, there were slight variations in the attendance, so new children this week etc. All 3 of the boys fitted in - found other children to play with - discovered what their names were :o (!!) and played a long game all afternoon, climbing, running, balancing, improving on the heights they'd previously got to on the spider web. (I only had to rescue one of them (LittleH#3) once!). Each of them found children to play with, and I was most impressed by LittleH#3 doing his own thing with children of similar age, as well as joining in with the others.

-Saturday we had a visit from another homeschooling family with 5 children - and again - great play, no problems, and great social skills.

So we have had differing social experiences all in one week and what all of them have shown me is that particularly LittleH#1 is making new friends easier, is happy enough even the first time being introduced to a new group and finding children to play with within that group. He can enjoy that kind of 'mass play' (the first week they made a hideout with branches on the little climbing frame) and comes up with good ideas and can be part of a group activity without any anxiety or shyness. This is all very different from last year and shows great progress. In addition, he can interact with smaller groups (ie siblings from another family) and one-on-one with new-ish friends. He has the forethought to ask me to arrange to see people again, and has ideas about what they could play together.

I don't know whether these things are now much improved BECAUSE homeschooling is a better social environment for LittleH#1 (to use him as an example) than school (though I think it is entirely possible!). But what it does tell me is that he is in no way disadvantaged socially by being homeschooled, and that even in the year and a half he has been out of school, he is more confident and can socialise in big groups far better than ever before.

I also know from what LittleH#1 says (and what I see) from Sunday School - where he is in a class that I suppose could be compared to school if I was desperate to prove he still spends time in similar situations to the classroom - that he copes well in that environment and has a choice to be either a leader or a follower. I have talked to him about those choices, and really I mean in behaviour and contribution terms. He will tell me how the session went, where he sat, whether he contributed, and what the overall behaviour was like. Some weeks he sits at the front, some he sits at the back. Sitting at the back is not necessarily an indicator of his behaviour or contribution to the session but he will tell me how it went, and that he couldn't get a space at the front but sat at the back and sat still and listened (when others around him maybe have not - I have seen them!!!). So he's also learning when to follow others, when to set an example - and I am pleased to say that this practice seems to be good for him rather than not -but I am so glad he doesn't have to experience that setting 5 other days each week and we can experience all variety of social settings and do well in each.

LittleH#2 is still very quiet and reserved in Sunday School - doesn't say a lot, doesn't volunteer for things but somehow they know he can read and is beginning to write - I think he more than holds his own in those areas. I am not worried about the group thing - because I see him getting on with other children really well when we play - and I also see him knowing when he wants to withdraw - which I am happy with and don't want to force him to change. I am hoping gentleness and sensitivity to his needs at home will give him the confidence to improve on those group 'talking' skills when he's ready.