Before I was a Mother I didn't know that...

How does one complete that sentence? My list of practical tasks I could have before not even have thought of, definitely not aspired to be able to do, let alone do on a daily basis is endless. I wont ruin this blog entry by sharing those here, because I want to share the thought that I finally came down on as I sat at the table for my allotted 2 mins of porridge eating time before getting dressed, cleaning the kitchen, starting the washing machine and
those basic tasks essential before the baby wakes up...

So here is my Before I was a Mother:

Before I was a Mother I didn't know that I could be myself, explore who God created me to be and having finally found it, realise that is who I am - therefore, finding my independence, rejecting expectations of who I should be and slowly realising that I have never truly been ME before now. Not that I couldn't be without children, just that for me that is when it has occurred. Not only finding out who ME is, actually discovering that other people would love or like that person, respect her, and not least of those people myself.

I no longer have to create a 'front' hiding ME from others, I have enough confidence to allow anyone I meet to know who I really am and because I now like this person (ME) too, others' opinions, like/dislike, respect or otherwise affects me very little. I have learned to accept and truly say "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14).

So its only taken 34 years and around 7 years of motherhood to get to this point, but without the opportunity to carry out full time this God-ordained. lifelong work that is raising His future generation of workers and ambassadors for Christ, I would not have had the opportunity to take stock of what He wants for me, and I would still be on the conveyorbelt of professional ambition, always feeling inadquate and not as good as the person sitting next to me who got the promotion before me, and being underpaid for what I did, persecuted for my faith and trying to make (for me) two incompatible jigsaw pieces fit together.